Tachikawa NO JIRETTAI BURO-GU!

Oh wow, its been a really long while since I’ve waxed lyrical about the random stuffs in my life! So many things’ve happened since my last blog post, that I’m finding a little trouble recalling stuffs to…oh wait. Looking at how much of a Facebook bitch I’ve become, I’ll just look through my Facebook photos for a chronological breakdown XD

*update. My mom’s just called me to go visit my uncle. I’ll have to continue really soon BUT BUT before I go, I’m gonna spin tonight at Blujazz, for Goodtime’s MJ Tribute! ((: Do come and visit if you have the time (whoever you are! ). Taaaaaa

Everyone seems to be jaded with love nowadays.

Whether it be because of a breakup, the inability to get someone they want, whatever.

Its really disheartening to see my friends be in THAT situation, you know?

When will we ever have a positive outlook of love? Is it only when you’re in a relationship that you notice happiness? When you’re out, you curse and swear at love, but what you’re really hoping for, is for its return.

Is it not true that what you gain from just being in love outweighs whatever hardships you go through?

Is it not true that you should cherish the good times you have with someone, no matter how short it was?

It does not matter how it ended. It does not matter how the person really is now.

What really matters is the fact that you had a cherished memory that was shared by 2 people existing as one. Do not let people tell you otherwise.

Forgetting someone is not the way to deal with it; its the coward’s way of doing so. Accept the fact that that person is no more. And then slowly begin the healing process.

Remember who they were, not what they are now. Cherish their memories.

Please.

They are a part of who you are, no matter what other people say.

Love is a beautiful thing, really. Shoot me down as a dreamer, you’re really welcome to. But are we not just mindless drones if not for the fact that we have dreams & aspirations?

Think about it.

I think its high time I do a little random reflection moment. I’m not going to think hard within the next few minutes about what I’m gonna write about. Instead, I’m just going to wax lyrical in a very random fashion, see where that takes me.

..life. Life! Now life. I’ve had quite the interesting life so far, if I should say so myself. Many seemingly random meetings with random people seemed random at that point of time, but in retrospect..there seemed to be a hidden agenda. The Universe is cooking up something for me, but I never saw it as that upon that singular moment.

Like how I would have never known about the Original Music Society if not for one random person I happened to talk to online. and look where I am now. I’m involved in so many aspects of this society that its mind boggling to think that a year ago I didn’t even know about them! Love you guys

Like how I would have never known about sYNQ DJing Society if not for another friend I randomly made through the library studying sessions (and eventually meeting the few very talented DJs who’ve actually helped carved up my current musical direction).

Like how I would have never been involved in 2 theater productions (one as a sound operator, another as a music composer) if not for the fact that I was randomly introduced to a few very VERY interesting people at a random picnic in the Botanical gardens.

Like how that random message to another random person actually blossomed into something that had taught me so many things that would have taken me much longer to learn normally. This person changed me so much more for the better; taught me the value of the first impression people have of you (yes,my fashion sense came from you.); inadvertently taught me how you never really know a person till they’re put under pressure. And other things. And the other good friends that I got to know through you. Your good memory lives through them, sorry it turned out the way it did.

Like how I would never be this thin if not for that one single night that brought me to an epic realization: 105KG was too much. And because of that epic realization, I started running. And Swimming. And got to 72KGs. To where I am now. Tall. Fit. Strong. (heh heh).

Like how I saw that random poster outside the Plaza Singapura toilets regarding the production of a small local movie. I went for an audition, met a lot of fun and interesting people. Which in turn led me to meet other interesting people. Like that very secretive mr Direktor. And that vegetable-loving person. And that very emo elmo someone. And also got my first opportunity to compose for a movie soundtrack!

And these are just single moments in my recent memory that I really cherish. and I really really cherish them. Thank you.

These instances really reinforces the whole live life for the moment thing. You never know what awaits you at that next junction, next corner, next turn. Make decisions to do the things you’re always feel inclined not to do. It’ll lead you up a path less travelled, but the rewards are much more fruitful.

I thank God I did the things I did; if not I wouldn’t be here.

Thank you!

(:

*skips*. hahahah.

Major Milestone Time!:

I made my DJing debut at BluJaz @Good Times on the 5th of June 2009! (((: Over a week ago? YES I PROCRASTINATED! Sorry ): haha. Thanks to everyone who came down to support! I really REALLY appreciate it. So sorry if I wasn’t able to hang out long enough with you guys, I had to do a lot of table hopping that night ):

Anyways, I have to say that it was one heck of an experience! Spinning electro clash for a crowd that knows how to appreciate good music! People were dancing, I made very minimal (read:ONE) mistake, and a lot of people approached me with really good comments about my mix. Heck, this random Australian girl approached me while I was spinning on the decks and was giving me props like hell, and I really didn’t know how to respond. HAHA. but it was cool! (: I really loved the experience, and I hope to build up this art further in the near future with more gigs!

There was once this wise DJ who’d told me; DJing is 5% technical ability, and 95% music. And I really believe it to be so. Through the process of me learning the decks and all in the past 6 months or so, I’ve really been introduced to so many new artistes, its scary! I’ve discovered so many gems, be it through personal recommendations or through various DJing websites, I’ve improved my musical knowledge by leaps and bounds! The subtle differences between the 1001 genres, beat patterns and all that. Heck, DJing had in fact, totally changed my musical direction for my music production side-projects! And for that I have NUS’ SYNQ DJing society to thank for. Its been an awesome ride so far, and I DEFINITELY hope my future rides will still be as awesome, if not better!

Pictures follow!:

Me on the decks with DJ Monkeykuts!

The Mumsies + Partners. HAHA!

DAMN COOL PICTURE RIGHT? hahaha.

A little photo-whoring moment with miss chio!

An awesome group shot! (:

A shot with DJ jstn!

I had the most awesomest interview for the Ship for South East Asian Youth Programme (SSYEAP) 2009 (You can read more about it here: http://www.sseayp.com/sis/) yesterday morning! I was the first person they interviewed on the second day of interviews (9 am in the morning!), and wow. I got to sing (I got good comments! ) and speak Japanese to the interviewers.

I told my parents I wasn’t expecting quite a normal interview, but boy was I surprised. The interviewers were quite a fun bunch of people to talk to. Very cheerful and down-to-earth! I have good vibes about this

Anyways, I have one more team-building event on the 6th of June. If I pass that, I’ll be through to travelling around south east Asia on a ship, as well as…a stop in…JAPAN! HAHAHA. AWESOMESAUCE XD

Wish me luck please, kthx! ))

You called me again. Yes, again. I’m sorry dear, I don’t answer to you anymore. Didn’t you forget? Nahhhhh you couldn’t have. I mean like, you have people informing you what I am doing on my blog and facebook? I mean like, wow. How awesome is that? hahaha. Oh wait. But could it be? There isn’t anyone else but you who’s been so obsessed with removing any traces of yourself off my (past) life, and those of your friends. Oh, wait. EX friends. Sorry, I forgot.

No, but seriously right, wtf? My blog post was to close my 10month long train of thought. And yes, unlike YOU, I don’t drop everything as if one and a half years was nothing. My views of what happened was how I saw it. Unless I see or hear something that explains otherwise (and makes sense at the same time), my perspective won’t change.

To start (and end) it off, and to succinctly put how it happened: You (did/intend to) cut of ties with people both of us knew, and I found that … how do I put it, awfully mature of you? Oh, and even more mature of you to intend to cut of ties with people which you currently (not for long) know and I so happen to meet and make acquaintance. Or at least that was what you said on the phone just now. I don’t have a right to dictate what you do in your, and neither do you for mine. So go ahead and carry on whatever you’re doing. I have my perspectives, you have yours. Oh, and for the record, I think its utter bollocks that you didn’t know how to contact them. Or even the other absurd reason..what was it again? they didn’t do enough for you? Oh. My. God. Seriously? YOUR. BEST. FRIENDS. ?

Enough is enough, I’ve wasted my 15 minutes talking to you just now. And a further 30 on this blog post. This shall be my last reply. My stand stays: My past is my past. You want to erase your past, go ahead. I know I won’t, because unlike you, I respect mine. It makes me who I am today. And you, of all people, shall not, and will not ever shatter this belief I hold.

Oh, and don’t worry. You can carry on cutting off ties. I won’t stop making friends with people from YJC. Or Hougang Sec, or whatever school/workplace/ you were/am/are going to be from, just because you tell me to. Who do you think you are?

Go back into your own little shell like you always do.

I’ve made my peace. Maybe you should too.

Its nearly been 5 months since I blogged! Wow, thats an awfully long time. A really awfully long time.

And as much as I want to keep my blog ‘clean’ to portray myself as a strong-willed person who’s willing to go through the ends of the earth for the things that really matter to him, I do falter sometimes. And when I do falter, I noticed that its hard to counter my facade that I’ve put up all this while. And I don’t blog about it, even when my original intention of my blog was to remind me of how I’ve changed; evolved.

Through the years that I’ve been keeping my blog, you’ll be able to see how much I’ve actually changed. From that lonely blog post in April 2004 when I was in my 2nd year of Polytechnic (and I can’t believe the way I actually TYPED out a blog post back then. HAHA!), to like now, in 2009, when I’m in my 2nd year of University. Sadly, my blogging aims haven’t quite been the same, and I think its about time I return to my roots of blogging: a reminder of how I was; how I am; how I might turn out to be. An insight into how my thoughts functioned at a particular point in my life, no matter how sad, depressing or facade-shattering it might be. And I begin my thoughts, with this..

I’m not really that strong. I’m sorry, I’m really not that strong. As much as I might want to think I don’t care about what we had; no matter what you did to me, no matter what you did to our friends, I do. I blame myself for letting our friends get hurt in the process, possibly as much as you blame yourself for letting yourself fall that night after Ocean’s 12. As much as time has healed me, I do get nauseated by sudden flashes of what we were. We were there. Together. For one and a half years, talking on the phone every night for hours on end. You left a huge gap that time had to fill up slowly, grain by grain. I couldn’t possibly do that in one week like you did. but did you ever really? The way that you’ve needed to cut off all ties with everything/everyone linked with me. The way you’ve needed to assure yourself that life is good and you’re truly happy now. I can’t say I AM truly happy with MY life right now, because I haven’t quite found my calling YET, but I can say that I am quite happy the way its turned out to be.

I’ve met so many good people; friends that has been there in the best way possible. Friends that have provided me so much support, its unbelievable. I’ve been given a chance to lead a wonderful committee as President in the Original Music Society next semester, I’ve been given an opportunity to DJ at Blu-Jazz, Duke Tan and Crazy Straits had given me the chance to helm my own movie soundtrack project with their latest movie offering, I’ve met a group of very driven individuals who’re very interested in heading for their SIA Pilot wings, I’ve tremendously evolved my musical ambitions, and so much more. I’m much closer to my Maserati then I was last year. Are you walking the talk now, or are you just the satisfied where you are, as you always were?

Now, this was never meant to be a blog post to be responded to. Nor do I ever need you to respond to it. Its somewhat a rhetorical post of sorts, to remind me of what my state of mind is at this point of time; to return myself to my original blogging roots, as you might have read in the beginning. To remind me of what I am. What I was. What I want myself to be. You? You lost yourself, my dear. Attempting to erase a past that had already happened. Changing your principles and stories as often as one changes her clothes. You’re a sad excuse for a person. Live your life the way you want to, see how far that’ll take you. 10 months of self-reflection is enough for me. Time for me to bring this out to the open; time to break free. My conclusions are here for you to read: You’re not worth the time. Wait. You WERE worth my time, but not anymore. See, unlike you, I accept the choices I’ve made, regardless of whatever I am now. Thats the gaping difference between you and me.

Well, at least it was fun while it lasted, yeah?

P.S. Come look for me when you’ve had enough of living in denial. My arms are always open, as friends at least.

I haven’t blogged for soooo long! Damn, the exams were a beeeechhhh! ))): For the first time, I totally felt that I was in deep shit. Level 2 modules are something to be reckoned with! My 3.7 GPA’s gonna be shifting a little this sem, it seems.

…and I sure hope its gonna be shifting up, instead of down. Just in case santa’s feeling a little good and wanting to give me a present a little early this year. Don’t wanna jinx some possible good luck that might be coming my way
23rd of December 2008. Yeap. D – Day. HAHA.

Anyways, there’s always a silver lining to every cloud! I’m quite amazed actually, at the amount of new friends that I made during the pre-exam period, and the amount of friendships re-established. Its funny, really. I’ve made more new friends in the past month than in the past year! One thing led to another, and BAM. Friends. And they’re not quite hi-and-bye friends as well! A little photo journal follows!

Oh, and about 95% of my friends on exchange are leaving (or have already left )))):) I’m quite saddened by that fact! It seemed like just 4 months ago that I’ve gotten to know them! You guys and gals totally rock! And remember that we’ll always be friends aight? Facebook’s just a click away (Australia/Holland/States/Canada/UK/Switzerland/Hong Kong are all technologically-advanced countries. NO EXCUSES ), and when you people are in town, ya’ll know how to contact me! ((: Its good to also know that some of you are thinking of Singapore as a place to work at after graduation as well (((: Hope everyone takes care of themselves really good!

Memories..

Gonna miss you fun bunch of people! ): Till we meet again, one day. We will. I just know we will (((:

Ah, exams exams. I also just had to take my Japanese Language Proficiency Test Level 3 a week after my NUS papers ended. Everyone else was enjoying their time while I was still sloggin’ it out in the school library memorizing Kanji, learning grammar and vocabulary. HAHA. But its cool. All over, and I sure hope I did well! Oh, and I actually had a post-exam lunch with a few of my classmates from my Japanese language school! I didn’t talk much to them when I was in class, I had no idea why! But after that lunch, we sure did catch up! ((:

フランス語を勉強したいの、みんな？：D

ね、今日本語でタイプします！なつかしいよね、今年は。僕にとって日本語のクラスは超楽しかったんですが、頭がいたかったんですよ。たくさんことを勉強しましたぜ。大学校のことも、日本語のことも、係属のことも、家族のことも。今僕はもっともっといい人になったそうだと思うんですよ。本当に。もしこのRANTをわかったら、コメントをしてくださいね。コメントがほしいぜ！（（：

Anyways, as I was saying, pics!

Student Leaders Networking Session + Post Party SynQ (DJing club in NUS) Bash! RAD STUFFS

oh, and more pre-exam photo-whoring sessions coming up!

The NUS Original Music Society also had a pre-exam jamming sessions!

With the Controller! (Thats JunHong’s musical moniker. and boy seriously, his tracks rock. I did a collaboration with him. Check out Zero Hour! http://www.myspace.com/jamtostayalive )

Damn, good times. Real good times (: Sure, the exams kinda got EVERYBODY down, but we’ve gotten through it all right? ((((:

ITS SLACK TIME YO!

(at least till the 12th of January comes, and school begins again!)

sigh.

HAHA!

But its cool yo, its cool.

Peace out, till next time! (((:

I was walking home just now, thirty minutes past one in the morning. After 2 days of endless revisings in the school library with few winks in between, and tonight. Tonight… I was reminded of how the smallest of things matter.

No matter how big your dreams are, you should never forget the small things in life. For they bring you great joy in a world where everyone’s competing for something; everything. As I was walking home just now, this awesome song by Mr. Children came on my earphones. It was this happy song titled ‘Hanabi’ (fireworks). At that exact moment as the light guitar strummings started to fade into the song, a breeze came blowing my way, rustling the trees around me.

There I was, clad in my comfy and cosy green hoodie, walking home without a care in the world. Rustling leaves all around, wind blowing in my hair and face. The dark sky was strangely inviting, almost surreal. My footsteps were silent, almost non-existent. I closed my eyes and stood on gravel for a moment, I was one with the night. I felt strangely satisfied, a feeling almost alien to me. I’ve forgotten about school; about relationships; about goals; about my past; my future. I was just there, just BEING. I smiled. I’ve never felt so happy for a long time.

In my quest for worldly possessions, I had forgotten how to just be happy.

I thank thee for reminding me ((((:

So happy and contented.

..but don’t get me wrong. I ain’t coppin’ out from my dreams and aspirations just yet!

I spent my last Friday, Saturday and Sunday at T Harv Eker’s Millionaire Mind Intensive seminar. Timings ranged from 9am to 11pm on the first day, same for the second, and 8am to 8pm for the third. It SEEMS inhumanely long on paper, but damn! Time flew like WHOA. The things we did inside ranged from total absurdity (at first) to just being chock full of emotions. We did things to let go of what was holding us back; we teared and laughed like no tomorrow. And I sincerely believed every single action I did. Every thought-strengthening process, every confidence-building activity. Every. Single. Thing. Heard of The Secret? It is this book which hypothesizes the fact that whatever you think comes to reality.

And I believe in this concept of living a hundred percent. The ‘Universe‘ (everything you feel;see;touch) is what you make of it. It cannot differentiate good and bad. Think bad thoughts and voila! Bad things happen. I’m pretty sure you many of you had experienced this before yes? You attract what you think of, regardless.

One of the exercises I do daily is the strengthening of my goals, and many of you might not know this but my dream car is the Maserati Gran Tourismo Sports. And I have been visualizing the car. In all its glory, every single day. Here’s how it looks like:

Now, how often do you see a Maserati in Singapore? Not as often as a Toyota, I’d say. Even if you were to see it, you’d see it mostly in town or clubbing areas, where the rich and the famous flaunt their wealth. and it is VERY uncommon. But ever since I started doing this visualization exercise, I’ve been seeing the car EVERYWHERE, it isn’t funny anymore. Every. Single. Day. Once, minimum, twice in a day on good days. And I haven’t clubbed nor been to town lately. I see it parked at school. Me sitting at a bus stop and a Maserati just stops right in front of me. A Maserati driving by a bus stop where I was waiting for a bus. Coincidences? A little too far fetched. Believe, and ye shall recieve.

Oh, and pictures of the seminar follows!:

Subway was damn packed! I’ve never seen a Subway que THIS long. Ever.

Positive thinking is not bull crap. Trust me. Things happen. So many things have happened to me in the past week that just seem too far fetched to be a coincidence. And I’m not talking about just the Maserati incidences. And so many of my life-changing experiences in the past 5 years have evolved from positive thinking.

Please trust me, do yourself a favour and think good thoughts.

You’re happy. The world’s happy. And we shall finally have World PEACE! (: haaa.