Tachikawa NO JIRETTAI BURO-GU!

Hey..sup. I just don’t know what’s going on in my head right now. I’m typing this with my eyes closed…I’m really serious. Not bragging about my ability to do this (or the fact that my extreme nerd ability allows me to do so..)..and so I’m typing this without my eyes open. I’m SERIOUS! I just dont know..

Lovesong by
The Cure

However far away,
I will always love you.
However long I stay,
I will always love you.
Whatever words I say,
I will always love you;
I will always love you.

Ok..that was with my eyes open. ONLY for the lyrics aight? Now back to typing blindly (both figuratively and literally. ) I don’t know why this song ’s stuck in my head..but it is. And its kinda freaking me out. The melody’s very very haunting. VERY. but nevermind that. Remember my previous post about being depressed and shit? …its not going away. WHY?! I hate this feeling of emptiness. Please. STOP. I HATE THIS FEELING. I just want a normal life. ok? screw all the ‘looking for love’ or girls and all that shit. I think I really miss my life of self-fulfillment.

I think the whole getting fit thing was just an excuse. A great big excuse to..I don’t know. To prove to EVERYONE I wasn’t just anyone on the street. I did. damn well I did. but now I need something ELSE.

I just completed my Combat Skills Badge course. (skip below if military stuff bores you. to death. fall into a boredom-induced coma at your own peril..)

Proficiency in handling (stripping, handling, assembling, shooting) of an M16, SAR 21, MATADOR Anti-Tank Launcher, SAW Auto-Weapon, M203 grenade launcher. >75% proficiency in Night fighting equipment, combat knowledge, military signals and all that. A ’silver’ grade in physical fitness..a 65% shot rate on the advanced training package full of random targets and rundowns, a 10km endurance run in 65 mins, a 8km fast march in 60mins (full battle order of about 20kg on your back) and finally, a 32km route march with river crossing at the 20km mark in 6 hours. One note: You don’t get to change your clothes. You march in your wet boots for the remaining 12 km..at night. at nearly 3am. cold. hungry. tired. *understatement*I did it all. I completed it all. and am one of the few who gets to don the badge. and is very proud of it. Usually only officers get to don the badge. but I’m proud to don it as an infantry sergeant.

I think I need something else to get my mind off girls. or women. or lack thereof. Think for me, my brain works in mysterious ways. An aim, a target gets my mind off all stuff female, and once I’ve achieved it (like losing tons of weight, completing the Singapore Biathlon way faster than expected, getting fit, getting the combat skills badge, etc..), those times in between those targets, I’ve ALWAYS felt depressed. I don’t know. I’ve never had the courage to ask girls out. (loser! *sticks tongue out*) even though I’ve set myself up so much for..success? (*dodges eggs thrown at me*). Maybe its time I tweaked my technique..or get a new hard-to-achieve target to strive for? Sigh..opinions needed! please.

Meanwhile, I just finished learning James Blunt’s Goodbye My Lover on the piano. Damn simple song..but its..interesting. Seriously. Love lost? Hollowness? Familliar anyone? Gee. How common. haha! Oh well. Lol. oh, before I leave, check these pics out, taken by a friend of mine. Notice how cool I look posing like Jay Chou 2nd from right in that arm chair. HAHA! POSER!

..or how hard I tried playing a REAL Yamaha ivory keyed GRAND piano at the Fullerton..

HAHA! Oh well, I guess thats about it. Oh guess what? I’m going to Taiwan on the 4th of Feb (which is tomorrow…LOL) for about 3 weeks! How cool is that? Let me answer that: VERY! Muahaha! If you guys want anything..ANYTHING! Just SMS and/or call me at 90260304 with your request and I’ll see if its within my means to do something about it. Till the end of March (when I get my 3SG rank..) when I return to Singapore..bai bye! ^^;;