Tachikawa NO JIRETTAI BURO-GU!

Here it is! Its 3:22 in the a.m. yo! The 10th of June 2005, the very day my life is going to change as we know it! The day I become a MAN! (…not that I’m not already man enough as it is..LOL!).

While listening to X-Japan’s The Last Song, I type my final blog post before I go into National Service. Its been an interesting 19 years of my life, seriously. All my friends, my family. They have been really good to me. Especially Grace. You’ve been the best thing that had happened to me since..sliced bread..or somethin’, heh. Thanks for the love and support ya? You’ve always been there for me, and I’m always gonna be there for you.

Also, my 1337 krew man! Fir, Chweng, Cha, Matt, Naf, Hans, Yat, Lim! You guys rock! Thanks for some of the greatest times of my life man..gym…makan outings, random acts of violence and/or wiseness, beach outings, hangin’ out by the esplanade bay, picture takin’. Love you guys to bits man! *hugz*!

Can’t forget the funky and cool GS peeps! Crash, Brandon, Aaron, Ace, Jimmy and the rest. You guys been the coolest gaming and hangout buddies ANYONE could ask for man!Aye Brandon! Practice your Shi Jie Mo Ri and An Jing ah! We gonna do this perfect piano performance after I get out! w00t!

Also, my sisters in the ‘hoods of Japan, Hiroko and Yukiyo! Love ya guys man. You guys been a real blessing to me! Our funky talkin’ topics keep us up till so late in the night, its virtually mornin’! Keep Kitakyuushuu and Oita rockin’ yo! Heh. Can’t forget me bro down in Mexico, Adan! This dude has this real funky outlook in life! Get them girls bro! And your perfect Japanese will ALWAYS baffle me bro, heh. Soon we’ll talk again ya? Miss ya all!

Can’t forget my family! Mom, dad, bro, cousins, aunties, grandma and grandpa! You guys rock! Ya all make me what I am yo!

I guess its time. My final blog post is..done. I will take my leave. Tachi signing out at 3:36 am! See ya in the funny papers! PEACE OUT!

My feelings are…hard to explain. I’m always locking out people. Including myself. I myself don’t know why what why I’m feeling. I guess its the years of not being expressive. Always keeping to myself. The loner. Never physically perfect, inferiority complex-prone. DAMN. Its never easy.

I got myself attached, and we parted…a few days ago. I don’t know why I’m crying. Never cried for a long time. I guess its my upbringing. I’ve never expressed myself much. I grew up with a lot of love, but it has always been the traditional kind. Be strong, be strong…but its..so hard. so…friggin’ hard. NEVER CRY. DAMN IT! I always found refuge in music though. It’s always been my beacon, my friend, my companion, never endless emotional trips through a world so much not-understood.

My father was a hotelier. Worked as a hotel manager, working long hours. My mum was a teacher, always coming home late evenings. I usually came home to an empty house when I was in primary school. But I was fine. My father and mother doted me, and I understood each of them had careers. I loved them and they loved me. I just went home, and immersed myself in music after school. I loved it. Me and my yellow 3-in-1 box. A radio, a tape player, and a black-and-white TV. I remembered being in primary 3 when I got access to that. A doorway to a world of aural pleasures. No one my age listened to music much back then, but I did. It was my form of escape, into a world that I found amazing. Classical music was mylove.

I found that every piece had its own emotions, its own feelings; message; life. They ARE NOT JUST SOUNDS MADE BY INSTRUMENTS. Compositions have a composers FEELINGS imposed. I began attaching myself to music a LOT more than any person could. As time passed, my surface (facade) became more sturdy. I was happy, always happy. Always being the kid with the funny grin on his face. Always the seemingly-unaffected-by ANYTHING person. And I never was. But there were times when I did cry. While listening to music. It felt really liberating. I never knew why, but it always was nice to do so. My facade grew stronger. Music was something I looked to for emotional support. Being happy, being sad, it was all music. Whenever there were emotional-related things that my parents couldn’t provide, there music was. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an introvert. I had a LOT of friends, I loved soccer. But being in an environment of guys, you were taught to be strong-willed. And I still am.

Just that, its not that easy to do that now. Girls came into the equation. I don’t know. My head is tired. Reality hit me long after the parting. DAMN IT TO HELL.

Shelia On 7’s Sephia

Hey,Sephia
Malam ini ku takkan datang
Mencoba ‘tuk berpaling sayang
Dari cintamu
Hey,Sephia
Malam ini ku takkan pulang
Tak usah kau mencari aku,demi cintamu

Hey Sephia,
Tonight I’m not coming
Trying to not return your affections
From your love.
Hey Sephia.
Tonight I’m not coming back
There is no need for you to seek for me, for the sake of your love.

Hadapilah ini
Kisah kita takkan abadi

Please face this.
We are never going to be eternal.

S’lamat tidur kekasih gelap ku[ooo…..Sephia]
S’moga cepat kau lupakan aku
Kekasih sejatimu takkan pernah sanggup untuk melupakanmu

Good night my secret lover.
May you forget me quick
Your true love is never going to be able to forget you.

S’lamat tinggal kasih tak terungkap [ooo…..Sephia]
S’moga kau lupakan aku cepat
Kekasih sejatimu takkan pernah sanggup untuk meninggalkanmu

Goodbye to my unexpressed love.
May you forget me quick
Your true love is never going to be able to leave you.

Hey,Sephia
Jangan pernah panggil namaku
Bila kita bertemu lagi
Dilain hari

Hey Sephia,
Please don’t call my name
When we meet again
Another day.

I’m so sorry. So sorry…so sorry……..