Please. Put me out my misery. Oh so sweet misery…
by Reizou Tachikawa on Oct.08, 2004, under General
She’s still. So cute. Oh so cute. Those eyes. That face. I always thought I was over her. That my perceptions would change over time. I really thought it did. I really did. I swear. It faded. I really wanted to. She was that source of inspiration; that light at the end of the tunnel. I did it all, for my PERCEPTION of her, for that alone spurred me on. I felt I couldn’t get her, but in a twisted way that my mind thinks in, I always believed in that really really small chance, I might get to do so one day.
Over the course of 1 year, I did just that. After that one night of enlightenment, off I went. Pushing myself. People found it hard to loose 1kg. I lost 26. I never actually found out how humanely possible what I did was, but I did. Still, I REALLY believed that I couldn’t get her, but really, in a twisted sense, I slightly believed I did. I tried to fade her off my mind. Still, she drove me on. In a twisted sorta way.
That historical long thread in that certain forum. Stupid plans. Stupid insane plans. Until a point where I really thought she’s just a shadow.
“I’ll never get her”, I told myself. I moved on. At least I thought it did. Still, I never knew it was inside. Till I saw her again. She looked so much better; much…better. I just don’t know what to do now. 7 years. IT SHOULD HAVE F*CKIN DISSIPATED BY NOW SHOULDN’T IT? Childish goals. What in the name of god is this all about?
“You set my heart racing when you get next to me, but I still don’t think you care. Should I wait for your love, or am I waiting in vain. Somebody help me cause’ I’m falling, head over heels in love again”.
Therefore I leave you with one word:
Help.
October 8th, 2004 on 6:11 pm
hEY hey gUY.. thE foRcE rEmEmbeR thE foRcE.. hAHa… maKE thE firsT stEp.. comE on
October 9th, 2004 on 12:35 am
haiyo… pls focus one exams for the time being. ahhaha.. and after exams, do go and make her urs.
October 9th, 2004 on 12:59 am
Lolz! After what I told you recently, you should have the motivation to corray on man
October 10th, 2004 on 8:38 am
Diaoooo. Lol. What force?! The only force..I know is..uhhh…physical. Lol.
Heh heh, exams….don’t worry. It won’t distract me. I draw the line of demarcation at studies
Hahaha. Titanus, more motivation?
Less more like it, heh.
October 12th, 2004 on 12:08 am
Go confess to her after ur exams. And make sure u make the confession, whether rejection or not , just leave it to fate. If you try , u never know till the last moment.
At least u can tell urself u’ve tried. Well I’m sorta in a worse situation than u,
go read my blog and u will understand.
October 12th, 2004 on 8:54 am
you should have seen your face it was just like .. .zap frozen man. provides the entertainment for me and firdaus and the agony for you.
btw the photos are at community.webshots.com/user/graceay if your other friends wanna see it… ashley’s the really really hot looking one 
October 13th, 2004 on 2:24 am
Even if got rejected.. can try again and again…
October 14th, 2004 on 2:17 am
to get rejected he has to FIRST tell her right? that’s not really happening… the talking to her part.
October 18th, 2004 on 4:40 pm
Sigh. Its always much easier said than done. If Man were to have not
taken so many chances, we would not have evolved for the better, that
I have to agree. Guess its all up to me. Speak or never utter a single
syllable ever. Choices.
October 19th, 2004 on 3:57 am
Dude.. I think you know my situation as well.. I decided that I have not given up,
and that I will always be by her side.. maybe not now, maybe not
in the short term.. but I am going to try again.. I made my choice,
now is your turn